Inspiration

So I actually have something to bog about today! Today I went to my first fireside with YSA, and I was just mesmerised from start to end; everything that they said mattered to me. They spoke about Patriachal blessings, something I'm hoping to get soon. They spoke about how the Devil has a way in making us think and feel. For people reading this who isn't apart of the church, I know how weird it sounds. When I joined the church I didn't think about the Devil he seemed, to me, like a fictional character that got defeated and didn't exist, but life isn't a story book. The Devil does exist, and as I'm writing this I want to almost laugh at myself, but the words that were spoken tonight were the feelings that I had been feeling; it made everything so true. It's really hard to explain how I am feeling right now but everything about tonight was just right, well give and take a few personal issues. But the way that we were dressed, I felt so grown up and I just felt that I actually belonged where I was. The people surrounding me also, are people that I just love and it amazes me that even though I meet with these amazing people twice a week, every time I talk to them or someone more, I just get a completely different feeling, a good feeling, and it's just amazes me. Also tonight was a struggle to get thee as there were complications with lifts etc, but a man called Paulo brought me in the end. Paulo is such an amazing man, he is the most kindest, generous man ever. He makes me laugh, I can talk to him about anything, he really is the dad I wish I had. Today he gave me my first quad, a book that has 4 books in. This means so much to me because a set of scriptures is such a powerful thing and he knew that I couldn't afford to get my own. I can now study the scriptures in depth and I just feel whole. It saddens me that not everyone can feel these emotions that I am feeling right now. I just want to scream about it to everyone, which coincides has now made me want to serve a mission. I say that if I'm not married by then, then I will, but I don't want to be married before then! I want to serve a mission, I want to make people feel what I feel.

These things are just amazing and the people around me are also.

Missing someone

Today has been the perfect day for thinking. A long walk in the hills in Wales with beautiful scenery is just what anyone needs! It gave me a lot of time to reflect and think about things a lot. But every time I would think of a situation I aways thought of someone. I don't know if it is because this person means a lot in my life; he gave me the greatest gift, or if because things just reminded me of him.
I have been trying to sort out a lot of stuff and putting this to the back of my mind was one. But recently it has been so hard to actually do that. When I'm feeling a little down all I want to do is talk to him, and its like what is going on?!
But because I have no idea what is going to happen, I kind of just think that I should force it to the back ad just focus on what I need to do right now and in the near future to make my plans for what I actually want to do with life. These plans are so difficult and this makes me sad. But what I want to know is what to actually do. I know that prayer comes a lot into this, and I need to sit and fully concentrate on matters. It's just a weird time but I have realised so much in a short space of time. This makes me happy to be finally rid of somethings. Now all I have to do is wait :)

Everything Happens For A Reason

So I haven't blogged for a few days, I've typed blogs but I just haven't published them. The main reason for this is because I've nothing good to blog about. Well that's a slight lie, I GOT ED SHEERAN TICKETS, well my fabulous friend Bec did. But I've been feeling ill with chest problems this week to its been a bit eurgh. So yeah after a week of not sleeping, being ill, phone breaking, getting a £300 bill, It's just been a crazy week. But tonight something substantial happened. I'm not going to say what because it's pretty raw but it made me realise something. I've realised that feelings are pretty strong, be it towards a family member, someone you like or even a complete stranger; they are powerful. I often care and grow attached to people easily, this could been seen as a fault, but I have seen people all my life with no one that actually cares for them, people who have had no one at all. This makes me sad as I have been blessed with people around me. But after I saw this thing it made me realise that when someone portrays a feeling, it can always be open to interpretation.
I set a goal saying 'tell someone how you truly feel about them'. I completed this goal but I want to change it. I want to change it to 'tell someone who cares, how you feel about them'. Unless someone tells you outright that they actually like you, instead of playing games, don't tell them how you feel. Sometimes it helps, but a lot of the time there is a lot of heartache.
But as I say everything happens for a reason. Even though tonight had a glitch in it, I still had an 'top' night with such amazing people. This is what is truly important.

I do love the amazing friends I have <3

The Influence Others Have On Us

Today at Church we were blessed to have Elder Keir (may be spelt wrong) give a talk and to also teach us when Relief Society, Priest Hood and Young Women came together. I have never came across this man before but by gosh, he is the definition of inspirational. When he first spoke the first thing that came into my head was Shrek; he's Scottish. But the words he spoke today was nothing of a fairy tale. He reached out to me with his infectious smile and the words that he spoke; he made me truly feel the Holy Ghost. Our first speaker was from President King. He spoke about how his jacket pocket are always full of notes and leaflets and personal items to hi. It made me think of the things that I carry around, not only physically but mentally as well. It's made me realise so many things :) Today I also got called to be Relief Society Music something, and to me this was a huge thing. Lately I have been thinking a few things, but when I was being set apart the words that was spoken to me really gave me the confidence and the knowledge that I needed. It's amazing how a testiony can grow over a prayer that is being said. I knew that the words which were being spoken to me was correct and was perfect. There is times like this where I am really grateful for what I have and my belief in things. Elder Keir is such an ispirational man and church had a whole new feel to it. It's something that everyone is welcome and invited to check out

Why Are Boys Confusing?

Boys?! How are we meant to spend eternity with one when we cant even understand them?! Like i just want one that doesnt play mind games and is straight forward! all these guessing games is just annoying. -_-
Why cant you just say yes or no? either one would be okay, well obvs yes would be better, but if a no i can stop all this mental hurt and annoyance over you!!! -_-

Do You Ever Feel Like You're Just Existing?

Right now I don't know how I feel. I'm not sad but I'm not happy, I'm kind of just there. It's been a weird few days. I'm at a point where the direction I want to take, just isn’t happening. I want to go places and do things but there's so much stuff I have to sort out first. Right now there isn’t any direction to where I want to go. I want to change so much but I don’t have the will power to actually do anything about it. I know that there are some things that I do have to change, just in order for some other things to fall into place.
I suppose a bit of it has to do with a boy, well he's not really a boy. But yeah he's just so rhgwuihgoriw. A straight answer would be perfectly lovely right now.

Its amazing what you feel

It's really hard for me what I can actually write on my blog. I want to write the things that I feel, but it’s hard as people will have that knowledge of you and can use it against you, it’s been done before. So I guessing that the best thing to do is get a diary and write in there, which I should probably do.

Anyway I just wanted that TV programme about online relations. If you didn’t watch it, it was basically about a 47 year old man who was playing a game online. This young girl said hi and told him that he was on a chat room for kids, so he lied about his age. And basically it went on like that for a while and it got really inappropriate. Then the man's wife found out and wrote to this girl telling her that he was an old man etc. And then this girl starts talking to this guy’s younger friend. They start dating etc., but then this girl starts talking to the old man. Things happen and it escalates to this point where this man kills his friend. The police go to this girls mum and tell her that they need to find her daughter as she may be at risk. After hours of talking to the mum, she admits that she was the daughter!! When the police look at her computer they find hundreds of pictures of her daughter, ones that this girl doesn’t even know that these pictures are being taken! There are ones of under her skirt!
It made me feel sick. How can women take indecent pictures of her daughter? She didn’t even get cautioned or anything. This woman caused a death, it’s horrible

It's just made me think so much. I don’t even know why it’s made me feel like this. Maybe because it is a little close but like earth how can people actually do this?

The gift of helping someone

Throughout my life I've always wanted to help people, it brings me great joy to do so. I will always try my best to do things for them, guaranteed not all the time, and find ways to make things easier. And I have always thought that people always took this help and people always want to combat it. But recently I've given help to people that dont want to take it. I understand, to a certain degree, that accepting help off others can be a difficult thing to do, you want to do everything by yourself and show the world that you can do it, but in these circumstances you need to accept the help. In one particular incident I was helping someone improve their ways as they had really hurt some people, but not just for other people for themselves as it wasnt a good way of life they were choosing. But this person hasnt even thought twice on this help. For this person to accept the help would have been a great thing as I really thought highly of this person, but now I'm thinking it was all a waste of time. People put trust in other people and to have that trust taken away is such a horrible thing. The worst thing is though is when you see this person suffering and you have to choose not to do anything.
What i've learnt is that you need to help people to help themselves. This is something that I need to learn to do.
If people offer to help you then accept their help! But actually work on it!

So Happy

I love how in life the smallest things can make me happy. I watch shows and people get upset over not getting a car, or the right diamond. Right now I got really happy over someone referring to me by name and asking how I was. Okay it has a bit to do with the person, but also a lot to do with the gesture. I love that I can do this and I love that a lot of new people have come into my life but I a also so happy for the fact I still have Becky. Becky is amazing and I love her with all my heart. She knows me so well and she's always there no matter what. When I'm sad or ill she's always asking!
I'm grateful for her a lot recently because she's made me realise a lot of things. Like with my decision to stop going college, she told me that it isn't everyone choice and it's okay to do different things. And it is. Like, in life so many people are scared of trying new things, and you know what, its opportunities like that, that really test us and guides us in a direction. I love my life right now and I love the people in it

Love thy neighbour as thyself

Recently I've noticed, in certain areas, a total lack of respect and this totally saddens me. It’s been little things like the way some people talk to their family members, or members of staff or even the respect they have for themselves. What makes it worse is when the person who isn't been giving the respect they need, they then notice and go home angry and upset. This person has been such an inspiration to hundreds if not thousands of people. However rant over.

Today has been such a good day. Church went really well and I got a lot out of the talks that were given! I also gave my first church talk today and was really happy with the feedback. It’s amazing to know that I’m doing an alright job at things! But what has really stuck in my head is a little boy talking to me about his family. He has been through so much, and is such a happy boy! I can’t say too much but this boy needs a gold medal! He made me so thankful for the things in my life. I've said this a lot recently but having that feeling is such an amazing feeling.
I just love the people I have around me

Lucky

I am so lucky to have amazing people in my life right now. When I'm feelig sick or down they're always there to cheer me up :) It's amazing the stories you hear from people about their life and how many barriers they have had to face. It makes me so grateful and thankful for the life I have had. Without the people in my life today I wouldnt be the person I am. Every person I come into contact with has an impact. Im grateful that I am able to talk to more people and get to really know them. my blogs havent really been that good lately as I dont really know what to say. I've actually achieved some of my goals! this makes me very happy :) I find it amazing how many people want to actually help me achieve my goals. 2012 is going to be a year of goal achieving. I've spent a lot of time this year on certain people and its kinda making me think twice about things. There's only so mant times i can put my heart on the line and my trust in people before its completely destroyed. For me to say those things to that person means a lot. It never used to but now i've seen things from a different light, I know who i want to be. So this year is a year of achieving goals. If extra things come into it then it would be perfect :)

Today is going to be a good day :)

Today is going to be such a good day :) I got paid so i can actually get out of some debt :D :D i shall tidy up a bit for Carla staying tonighttt. Go to boats to pay for my train ticket to London and go to the Birminngham dance!! or attepmt to get there and back... hahah but I'm just so happy today ) everyone's going off about how it's friday the 13th but its just a happy day! :) I love days like this :)

100 Goals to complete in 2012

After an amazing person done hers, I got inspired to do mine :) so here goes:

1. Remember to smile everyday
2. Lose weight!!!
3. Walk for 30 minutes a day
4. Keep a food journal
5. Compliment a stranger at least 3 times a week
6. Visit my family at least once a week
7. Get my hair cut soon
8. Take part in a race
9. Get to Ireland
10. Keep my flat tidy for 6 out of the 7 days
11. Fix my laptop
12. Go to boats every week, unless something urgent comes up
13. Get my scriptures
14. Get out of any debt that I am in
15. Finish the Book Of Mormon
16. Read at least 6 books from the Old Testament
17. Visit my brothers' grave at least once a month (0/12)
18. Not to break down going to at least one dance
19. Meet some amazing new people
20. Tell the amazing people in my life how amazing they are
21. Actually keep track of grace
22. Get Florence and Mikey a new tank
23. Get to at least a size 12
24. Blog at least 5 times a week
25. Tell my sister how amazing she is
26. Save some money
27. Do my grade 5 on flute
28. Play my flute at least once a week (1/52)
29. Learn to actually play my guitar
30. Do something completely out of my comfort zone
31. Do everything when I first get them and not leave it until last minute
32. Run a marathon of some sort
33. Volunteer at soup kitchen
34. Change a life
35. Sit on a beach and watch the sun rise
36. Sit on a beach and watch the sun set
37. Eat at least one piece of fresh fruit a day
38. Drink 8 pints of water a day
39. Travel on an aeroplane
40. Travel on a ferry
41. Ride a horse
42. Jump in a pool
43. Get a pen pal to write letters to
44. Go to a space museum
45. See les mis
46. Give my uncle his DVD's back
47. Live without my iPod for a week
48. Have no laundry to do
49. Make 5 handmade gifts
50. See Ed Sheeran
51. Meet Ed Sheeran
52. Get a job 
53. Reach 100 followers on twitter
54. Pass my driving test
55. Give up Facebook for lent
56. Travel to London twice (0/2)
57. Buy a beret
58. Go for runs with Laura
59. Have family over once a month for dinner
60. Go on at least one date!
61. Become a dog walker
62. Deliver a tin opener to that woman
63. Stalk and meet Aiden Grimshaw
64. Buy more bedding
65. Go to Italy
66. Travel to meet a friend
67. Make a dress
68. Get some running shoes
69. Volunteer at an RSPCA
70. I really want a cat
71. Do a sky dive
72. Go a whole week without eating anything that I’m allergic to
73. Give up chocolate for a month
74. Make a scrap book of memories for 2011
75. Do a long talk in sacrament
76. Show someone the gospel
77. Make an effort to talk to family more often
78. Make and write in a diary
79. See an old friend
80. Own a winter coat
81. Leave a stranger a note
82. Strengthen and build up my voice
83. Hold an awards ceremony
84. Have a harry potter marathon
85. Have a 'girlie sleep over
86. Ask someone on a date (ahhhhhhhh)
87. Use a big sewing machine
88. Learn to cook something new
89. Own a wok
90. Visit the stone henge
91. Find a shampoo I’m not allergic too
92. Go on a holiday
93. Go without phone or internet for a day
94. Go to a ball
95. Start my family history
96. Settle any disputes I have
97. Tell someone how I truly feel about them
98. Play in a concert
99. fix my kitchen
100. Achieve all these goals

Ignorance is bliss, or is it?

Throughout my life so I’ve always believed firmly that ignorance is in fact bliss. When it was younger it was childish things, but now I’m getting older they are starting to become more important. A current example is my recent phone bill. After I turned 18 I wanted to do as many things as I can that only people 18 years and above could do, as I don’t drink or smoke; one of them being getting a phone on contract. After a few weeks I started to question how many minutes I actually used, but I didn’t want to check because I was scared I went over. So when my bill actually it I did go over, by A LOT. I could have been prepared for that if I actually checked.

Being scared is a part of life, but there are some things not to be afraid of. I like doing new things, and yes a lot of the time they do scare me, but I love them when I actually start doing them. Life is full of opportunities; take as many of them as you can because otherwise you may not get a second chance at them.

I'm only as awesome as the people around me

This post is inspired by my beautiful friend Corinne

Whenever I offer advice or just listen to people I always get told that I’m awesome; but am I really? Through my life people have always listened to me rant and rave over a multitude of things, some being serious and some being petty.
as I’m writing this she just said this 'it’s like if you ever need a comfy shoulder or a listening ear or a hug just tell me, I am always here, the thing that brings me the most joy is helping people'- this is so true.
We got given ears and a heart, so why not use them for others?
I love my friends and the energy they give me. They give me the strength to get through everything and be the person I am today. So if they call me amazing, I'm only as amazing as them!