You mean the world to me

Okay so this blog is basically a moaning blog, and it could offend a few people but to be honest it's a blog and it's meant to portray what I feel, right?

Okay so it's 8 days until i go, which really makes me happy! I just wish some other people would be happy too. So I have a family that I love to pieces but its always me that has to make the effort to see people, not ith all my family, just a large proportion and this makes me sad. I arranged to see some family members over the week so that I can actually see them before I go away, but do they answer my calls or texts? no. Like i make the effort to actually see them, I'm travelling to them, but no this doesn't make a difference. So I have decided that I shall wait for them to contact me. If they don't, well then i don't particularly care :) It seems harsh but why should I do all the running around?

Saying this, especially YSA, people have been actually asking how things are going and actually saying that they're going to miss me, not even my family have said this. But it just makes me so happy to actually have amazing people in my life right now, people that actually care and people that make my days! :) I do love all the people on my life, it would just be nice if I wasn't doing all the running around all the time! But hey it's only 8 days then the concern is what am i going to do with potentially pooing in the ground! nice eh? ;)

But yeah this is my rant over :) I am now going to have a nice soak and do a bit of tidying before my day with Jade tomorrow! :)

My life would suck without you

I don't even know why I have names this post this, but It just came into m head.
I don't even know what I'm actually going to write about so lets see where this goes!
So today I received a patriarchal blessing. for those who don't know what this is, its a Blessing from our Heavenly father guiding us with our , if we follow and keep His commandments. For me its a guideline of my life, things that I will do with my life. That is probably one of the worst explanation of it, but hey I'm tired. It was nice to hear the things that were said today, and to know that Heavenly father contacted me through such an amazing man, made me feel special.

Not knowing where I was going in my life was pretty hard, and I still don't really know, but at least I have the guidelines and the promises that I want for my life.

I love the people around me so much lately. They mean so much to me. However, I am looking forward to meeting new people whilst I'm away.

This post pretty much sucks, but hey, my life would suck without a lot people, and theres some people that I want for the rest of my life.

You Give Me Inspiration

Okay so there is only 16 days until I leave, which means 16 days until I can send this letter! I didn't even think about sending one until October, but after a request and being allowed why not?! I realised that not a lot of people will have any idea what I'm talking about but writing this is just making me so happy! :) I don't know if there is any reasoning behind this request but there's a lot  of me hoping that there is :)
But every time I feel 'low' or away just a little message, obviously that cant be read until the return, but like just writing them gives me inspiration that I can actually do this! I know that this is sounding really gay right now but everything about this makes me happy!
After re thinking everything that happened I just want these two weeks to fly by!, well not totally as I'm going to miss a lot of people! But a reply is what I'm wanting more than anything! :) just the words 'yes to everything' would be amazing :) :) but yeahhhhhh i totally don't know what else to write on this so I shall end!

Never give up on that one thing you want the most; nothing is impossible!

For us, there will be a Sunday

Whilst sat in Relief Society today this saying was said: 'For us there will be a Sunday'. This really stuck out for me. We were discussing how we, as Mormon's, will always have a Sunday where we can come and renew our covenant by the partaking of the sacrament. We know that everyday can be a different day, we can find a day really pleasant with no trials, or we can find a day one of the hardest that we've ever faced; but we know that on the Sunday we can renew ourselves.
Someone once said to me that why should I live my day in regret with the feel for repentance when you do wrong. I pondered this a while, and today I finally came up with a comeback, which is: How can a person expect to run and finish a marathon if they haven't trained? I know that isn't the best comeback, but for me it’s how I feel. If I do wrong I want to repent and become like my Heavenly father because I want to return to be with him one day. I'm not asking anyone else to do this; it's something that I want to do. In life I have multiple goals and returning to live in the Celestial Kingdom is one of mine. It means a lot for me to know this. 

As I woke this morning I realised that I haven't gotten an Easter egg, mainly because I ate mine the other day, but I felt a little saddened by this fact. However, as I reached the church I realised that Easter is so much more than getting chocolate; it's about our Saviour. I have never celebrated Easter before from a religious point of view; it's all new to me. So today it was really nice to be able to listen to the words that were spoken about our Saviour and the things that He did for us. In my Sunday school class today Jason asked a very simple question, which was: do you believe that Jesus loves you every day (or something along those lines) my first reaction was obviously yes I do believe that, but after a little discussion I realised that I didn't know that. I know that Jesus loved us so much that He suffered for all our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane, and that he endured the sufferings of being crucified for us, but I didn't really think about what he does for us today. For me he works with the Gift of the Holy Ghost, a spirit that lives inside of me to guide me and give me blessings. I am eternally grateful for this because it gives me that Testimony that my Saviour lives. 

Upon leaving church today my Sunday school teacher (I went into a different class) gave me an Easter lamb chocolate that had this message on the back: "Come now, and let us reason together," saith the Lord: "though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." Isaiah 1:18

That really summed up my thoughts today. I am eternally grateful for the Gospel in my life, and going to church today made me realise this

Respect

Okay so as I have been brought up I have always been told that I should have respect for everyone, not just my Elders. hahaha lol at the fact I put Elders in capitals. Anyway, lately I have been noticing the lack of respect people have for others around them. I volunteer for a charity and ever since I've been a young person for them we have always been told to respect our boats because they're ours are we want them to look nice. In addition, to always be well behaved when we are out, such as no swearing or cussing, no arguments or fights, simple things really, when we are out as we are representing our charity and we always want to look good :) Over these past few months I have seen this slip, not only within our charity, but others as well.
In our area lately, a building got refurbished for the young people in our community. So far it hasn't been that bad of a turn out but today when I went to work in there the place was a state! the chairs were ripped and drawn all over, the young people had taken the food that we had and smashed them all over the floor; t was a disgrace. The thing is though it isn't all the young people's fault. Yes they are responsible for what they do but a lot of it is through sheer boredom. After analysing the situation today I noticed that the younger ones get all the activities (even they were hard today) yet the older ones just get left. I suggested some ideas but someone their age said that they wanted to just chill; i felt old. I talked to the youth workers and asked them why they didn't make the young people clean up, to which one replied: 'try making them, and they will' I as outraged by this. I made some people help me, but they put on a front at first. It feels so weird to think what the young people must be thinking! but I am working again on Tuesday so we shall see what plans I can come up with then! :)

But ahhhhh only 20 days to go! Then I get to see what the youth are like in Zambia! ahh! :D

just waiting

I have 20 days to wait, that is all. 20 days to send a letter, 20 days to fly to Zambia. 20 days to have three months away, some people I'm going to miss, others I'm glad to have this breathing space. I'm sick of mixed messages, or people wanting to know things for their personal gain no matter who they hurt. Eurgh.

but 20 days until i start on a whole new chapter. Excitement isn't the word.

Crying

Eurgh currently sat here crying. Not because something horrible has happened, just because I'm a woman. Its currently three weeks until i go away and am i prepared? I'm Mormon of course I'm not. But it's starting to really sink in that I'm actually going to be away. I'm more than half way through my jabs, all my paper work is done, started getting odd bits; its unreal. Even though its three weeks a lot can happen. My uncle, who is basically my dad, took very ill so its been a whirlwind to how ill he actually got which depends on whether I go, but it looks like he's getting better and should be home soon :D But hopefully things will stay on track and I should be on my way! :)
but whats made me cry is leaving people. I know its only three months but a lot can happen in three months; a lot can happen in three days. There's people that I talk to every single day, people that make me happy all the time, I wont be able to do this when I'm away.

This is only short again because I'm tired and in desperate need of sleep. Plus i stopped crying when my friend skyped me! so all is Good :D

Goodnight :) x